My cellphone has been ringing a lot lately and the numbers on the screen are out-of-state numbers I donāt recognize, so I donāt answer.
Typically, if the caller doesnāt leave a message, I figure itās a telemarketer.
The other night, the phone rang at 8 p.m. Because it was a Maine number, I answered, against my better judgment.
I hear a lot of chatter in the background, and a male voice identifies himself as being from our new cable television company.
He offers me a package with more channels than what we get, which is, like, 24.
āI can get you 125 channels!ā he says.
I tell him, politely, āNo thanks. We donāt want 125 channels. Weāre happy with what we have.ā
What we have is basic cable, for which we pay a little more than $37 a month.
āThirty-seven dollars!ā he exclaims. āFor $11 more, I can get you a whole bunch of channels!ā
Heās eager. I can hear excitement building in his voice, and Iām sorry to have to deflate his enthusiasm.
āYou donāt understand. TV is not a big priority for us. We watch the news and we read books.ā
Thereās a pause. By this time, Iām nearly giggling. I know he is trying so hard, he wants to make a sale and he has no idea where Iām coming from.
āBooks?ā he shouts. āI can get you book-related channels. The Hallmark channel!ā
I decline. He insists that if I donāt choose a package, our cable could be cut off when the new company officially takes over from the old.
āWell,ā I say, āweāll cross that bridge when we come to it.ā
Iām playing with him a little. Iām tired, amused that he thinks everyone loves TV and wants more of it. Meanwhile, my husband is sitting across the room, insisting I hang up.
āYouāre being too nice to him!ā
I try another tack.
āI donāt do any business over the phone,ā I tell my caller. āThe Maine Attorney Generalās Office recommends we donāt do money transactions over the phone. Can you send me something in writing and then Iāll respond?ā
Now heās getting antsy, frustrated.
āLook,ā I say. āTV is not a big deal to us. I know you may never have heard this from anybody before, but truly, you really shouldnāt waste your time on us because weāre not that interested in television. Youāre a good salesman and you should use your talent on someone more promising.ā
I picture this poor guy, probably in his twenties, sitting in a room of dozens of telemarketers, just trying to make a living like everyone else. How can I be rude or hang up on him?
I picture his wife and kids, waiting at home. Maybe he works two jobs or three, or goes to school days and works nights, trying to convince tired, older people like us to buy more TV channels. Iām going to be respectful and just keep saying Iām not interested and then hopefully at some point, heāll give up and realize Iām a lost cause.
Come to think of it, I feel pretty sorry for myself, too.
Several years ago when I bought the $50 package with more channels, the price kept increasing. When it got to about $70, I put my foot down. I called and canceled that package and asked for the cheapest, most basic one, which was about $18.
I didnāt miss those numerous channels a bit. In fact, I think watching fewer news shows lowered my stress level.
Over the years, the $18 fee increased incrementally until it reached the current $37-plus which Iām thinking is getting perilously close to being not worth it.
My friend, Dave, has an antenna on his roof and gets several channels. He doesnāt pay a penny for cable. Remember when we were kids and had an antenna on the roof and our fathers were constantly climbing up there to fix them?
It wasnāt so bad. We got to watch Walter Cronkite on the news and the āJackie Gleason Showā on Saturday nights. There was āI Love Lucy,ā āRawhide,ā āSecret Agentā and Julia Child doing her French cooking thing. And around midnight, all the channels went black and we went to bed.
Now television is a 24-hour thing, where there are more news channels than we can keep track of, minute-to-minute rehashing of what happened all over the world in the previous hour and so many shows with gun violence that I wonder if people understand the difference between TV fiction and reality.
And I guess thatās what I was trying to tell that man who called from the cable company. Thereās the fantasy world we view from our living room sofas and the real world, where we plant gardens, swim in the ocean and climb mountains to view the scenery and inhale the fresh air.
The former costs an arm and a leg and the latter virtually nothing ā except for maybe a little exercise.
And that, my telemarketer friend, canāt be accomplished from an arm chair.
Amy Calder has been a Morning Sentinel reporter 29 years. Her column appears here Mondays. She may be reached at acalder@centralmaine.com. For previous Reporting Aside columns, go to centralmaine.com.
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