I have never been the victim of gun violence or a school shooting, yet my professional and personal life have been impacted by them.

After the Columbine High School massacre, I taught at a school in North Carolina. I saw a student pull a handgun out of his locker and place it into his trench coat. I raced back to my classroom and called the office. These were the days before practice lockdowns, and we had no procedures in place. For my students, I was “business as usual,” and I had to teach. Inside, I was petrified. The student was located; the gun was a prop for a presentation. It was against school policy, but lessons were learned. I replayed this event for years, imagining how differently it could have ended.

Twelve years later, Newtown happened. We lived in Maine. I was a mother of a first- and a third-grader. My youngest had a medical disability and we were terrified that in a lockdown he could be trapped somewhere, unable to care for himself or communicate with anyone. We had a conversation with the school, and we bought him a cellphone. From now on, my first-grader had to carry a bag with medical supplies and a cellphone everywhere. We called the bag “the football” in an attempt to make it cool.

But it was anything but cool. It was tragic.

Why, then, would anyone say they want to preserve the right to own a gun? I actually understand why. Shortly after Newtown, my family and I experienced an attempted home invasion. A man tried to kick down our front door as my husband braced his body against it. The man knew we were inside; if he got in, we were going to be hurt. He broke a window but didn’t get in. I called the police; they arrived within minutes and caught the perpetrator the next day. This criminal didn’t physically harm us, but he violated us in ways I can never forget. The next day, I bought a shotgun swearing that I would never hesitate to use it if our lives were in danger.

I sat in disbelief as the news of the mass shooting at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, Texas, unfolded this week. I spent the evening despairing that gun violence in America is inevitable.

Wednesday, I cried when I dropped off my youngest at school as I reviewed what to do if there were an active shooter.

I watched President Biden and politicians offer thoughts and prayers, but no plans that assured me this won’t happen again. I watched parents, whose souls have been crushed, claw every inch of strength to beg, “Why won’t we stop this?”

Then my grief turned to anger. For decades people have fought to protect the unborn, but who is fighting to protect the living? How does preserving the right to own a gun for protection or hunting make solving gun violence in America impossible?

I don’t have the answers. It’s not my job. But it is the job of lawmakers, and they aren’t doing it. Politicians want you to believe we’re on opposite sides. They win elections by stoking tribal politics to garner campaign contributions and scare voters away from common-sense solutions. The irony is, we share common ground: No one wants children to be shot and killed. We all want gun safety: 92% of Americans favor background checks for gun sales, yet Congress has let bills stall like the Enhanced Background Checks Act of 2021, or the Bipartisan Background Checks Act of 2021. We’ve taken a few steps in Maine, but we’ve failed to enact a critical red flag law, opting instead for a yellow one that is regarded as inadequate.

Advocates are sick of inadequacy. Moms Demand Action volunteer, Kathleen McFadden, told me, “[Tuesday’s] tragedy is devastating on so many levels … The violation of what should be a safe haven for kids over and over again is infuriating and tragic.” While politicians continue to use rhetorical gymnastics because they lack the political courage to enact legislation that might upset powerful lobby groups and lose votes, the price for their cowardice will continue to be paid with the lives of innocent children in the one place where they should always be safe.

That school shootings are a problem unique to the United States is something that Jon Levy, professor and chair of Boston University School of Public Health’s Environmental Health Department, has emphasized. In 2022, there have already been 288 school shootings in the U.S. Mexico is in second place with 8 shootings. Levy looked at these numbers and said, “So please spare us the ‘we have to figure out how to solve it.’ Everyone else has solved it. Solve it.”

What are we waiting for? Solve it.

Hilary Koch lives in Waterville. She can be reached at: hilarykoch@pm.me