Help Wanted: Democrat governor seeks head of Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in a northern New England state run by Democrats, and with a largely aging population.

Educational qualifications: M.D., D.O., or Ph.D. in epidemiology or similar field. (no Ed.D.s please).

Job Requirements: Ability to work with liberal politicians and a news media reflecting a liberal bias; able to comply, to the letter,  with frequently contradictory directives from the US CDC, NIH (National Institutes of Health), and NIAID (National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, Anthony Fauci’s former place of employment).

Must follow standard policies and procedures in dealing with disease prevention and viral pandemics,  and resist the temptation to consider new approaches  or to think outside the box. (Here’s looking at you, Dr. Joseph Ladapo. Don’t even think of applying). Previous experience preferred, preferably in a Democrat run state.

Salary: much larger than you might think, and definitely more than the governor.

Send resume and references by March 1 to: Janet Mills, State House Station, Augusta, ME.

Bob Scheirer

Randolph